A History of Boys

I didn’t pay much attention to Mr. Dorsey before but I do remember that the first boy was some guy called Adam. That’s not a very cool name – shouldn’t he have been called Lex or Robbie or something? Anyway, this Adam guy was the first boy but had a weakness in his love for fruit. If you know the story in the Bible, I guess the morale is "never listen to a snake’s advice"!.

But anyway since that day, boys have been found in history. Every guy needs a girl and some famous guys in history have had famous wives or girlfriends – Anthony and Cleopatra, Romeo and Juliet, King Henry and Anne Boleyn – ahh, isn’t it so romantic!

There are about 3 billion men on the planet right now – if I had to kiss each one of them, it would take me about 15 billion seconds – that’s over 95 years and I’d be old and wrinkly and yucky looking by that time. I would also need lots of lipstick…

Good things about Boys

Us girls know that girls are really better than boys but following my nasty experience with those yucky weird aliens, I have changed and now have come to appreciate that boys are quite nice really and have their good points. Boys are good for:

1. Changing lightbulbs
2. Washing dishes
3. Doing gardening
4. Getting rid of nasty bugs
5. Good for nothing

And boys are fun sometimes (if you meet the right one – many of them aren’t good) when you meet a nice guy then you could maybe go on a date! Ahh – the cinema, a romantic candlelit dinner, comparing stamp collections – you can have great fun!

Bad things about boys

There are sadly some bad things about boys – and these mostly are:

1. They’re hairy. Yep, most guys are part-gorillas and need to shave regularly. Yucky.
2. They’re not very bright. It’s true – many guys don’t have very big brains.
3. They only want one thing – food. Yep, most guys want fresh food on the table every day already cooked for them. Can’t they learn how to cook meals on their own?
4. They snore. Ever heard a guy asleep? They will sound like a pig with very loud and unpleasant snoring.
5. They have bad breath. Uh-huh. Despite toothbrushes and flossing, most guys have stinky breath, worse than a doggie’s breath, and the smell attracts bugs.