There was a guy called Freud and he liked to think that everyone loved their mommies a little too much. He thought that if you lay down on a couch and talked about what you could see when you looked at splodges then he could cure you and you wouldn't love your mommy so much anymore.

I first heard about Freud when I was 6 years old and I was at the swimming pool. A guy said "Look, there's Freud" and I saw a magazine with a picture of the famous psychologist on the front. Ever since then I wanted to help people.

I got my auntie to buy me a book all about psychology and I tried it out on my pet rabbit. He looked like he needed help because all he ever wanted to do was to eat carrots and I thought that was a bit obsessive with a hint of an Oedipus complex.

I cured my bunny and he never ate another carrot as long as he lived - which wasn't too long because Uncle Siberius decided that what we all needed to get a bit of meat on our bones was a nice rabbit stew.

Anyway, I went to college and became a psychiatrist. I studied Jung and jing jang and all sorts of things that have helped me look into the minds of the sick, the sad and the crazy.