This is what he told me from his vast and amazing knowledge of spies…

Spies are normal people who are not normal. They know how to think differently and they know how to speak several languages. They are usually tall and handsome and wear tuxedoes but sometimes they can be tall and handsome and wear ski suits. They like to run a lot and they are good at driving fast cars. They are good at finding out things about people and they can keep a secret if they want to.

Mr Bond didn’t get to tell me anything about actual spy novels because he was jumped on and dragged away at that stage by several men in black balaclavas. That I’m afraid, is one of the downsides of being a spy – you can rarely get to finish a conversation.

Spy novels are fantastic and very helpful. I learned to speak Spy Talk from them and also how to drink a martini. I recommend that you start reading soon and maybe you too can begin to talk the language of spies.

And on that note, I will leave you with this – The quick brown mole jumped in the hole.


1. All good spy books must have a cover that tells you something. A title is really helpful or you won’t know what it is you’re reading. I find ones that have a picture on are really good as well.

2. The name of the spy is really important. Anything with James or Bond in it is usually a good sign.

3. Read the book from front to back and you will enjoy the story.

4. Use a magnifying glass to read the story and you will enjoy the story even more.

5. Wear a black suit and a microphone headset and you will enjoy the story even more.

6. Reading in the dark is a good thing because it makes you feel like a spy, particularly if you are wearing night vision goggles at the time.

7. Teach yourself to read between the lines and you might just discover a real spy secret – The Eagle Has Put The Easter Egg In the Nest is not just a phrase that spies use, it actually means something.

8. Turn the page so that you can get to the next one.

9. When you have finished the book, it’s the end.

10. If you are reading a book where they tell you to mix one cup of sugar with a cup of flour then you are probably not reading a spy book – unless it’s a very clever one…

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