That is another annoying thing about these machines but Mr.Scrimpy would attack the electric typewriter Don got me so we had to get rid of it.

I can type very very fast and I don’t even count the words I can do in a minute because I am so very fast. But I do know that I can type up a report card faster than a printer can print it out. So you see that I am well trained to be able to teach the students how to do this typing thing.

I like to teach the kids sometimes but it has to be when I am ready because those stupid kids can make me feel like going home. One of them didn’t know that you had to hit the keys to make the letters and just stared at the machine thinking he could make it work with his brain.

One kid thought the machine was a dating agency and tried to get it to find him a girlfriend.

Vita’s Top Ten Tips for choosing a typing teacher

1. Make sure that they are not dead
2. Make sure that they have fingers
3. Make sure that they can type
4. Make sure they know the alphabet
5. Make sure you have a typewriter
6. A good teacher can teach you to type with your toes
7. Look at the teachers nails – if they are not clean then do not choose them, they are not hygienic
8. Latino typists are the best because they like to dance and rhythm is important for typing
9. A good teacher will like to eat apples
10. If a teacher can balance a paper airplane on their nose and type faster than a concert pianist then you have found me

And one kid thought that it was a time traveller and she tried to go back to Ancient Greece in it to see if Atlantis was there.

But some of the kids are okay and know what to do and one of them even managed to type a letter of complaint to Violet. This kid complained that I had no teaching skills and that her poltergeist could do a better job but I didn’t mine. At least she knew what the machine was for.

So, computers are okay and they have their uses but I do not like to touch a mouse whether it is dead or alive or plastic so I use my typewriter.

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