ANTONY’S GUIDE TO BREAKING UP 2

ANTONY’S GUIDE TO BREAKING UP

 

You can tell sombody’s NOT happily in love when they are:

  1. Having dates. Lots of them (I mean the fruit called dates. Too many will give you indigestion!).
  2. Walking round town chatting up everyone they see.
  3. Being irritable all the time. If someone’s mega grouchy then this may be because they are very angry at something – when someone’s happily in love, they are normally happy.
  4. Avoiding movies, books or anything to do with the subject of love. This is trying to escape from the whole love thing and shows they want none of it!
  5. Buying loads and loads of boxes of tissues. This is to wipe away the tears of unhappiness. Or then again, maybe the person has a bad cold and needs to wipe their nose?

So how do you break it off???

You know you don’t want to be with them so what’s the next step?

There are many ways to break up with someone and none of them are nice – because it’s never a nice thing to do. But here are some of the ways I’ve heard of.

1. Use your cellphone and instant message them. Not the most personal way to break it off – but quick and easy especially if you change your number afterwards so they can’t get hold of you.

2. Pretend you have amnesia and wake up one morning pretending you never knew them and have no recollection of the last six months. This could be hard but it’s been done before!

3. Get a friend to do it for you. Preferably someone like Jet who is happy to do it and will have no hard feelings afterwards.

4. Tell them directly – but be careful of the backlash you receive.

5. Move cities. You don’t even have to make contact with them. Just move, then move on.

6. An even nastier way is to find another boyfriend/girlfriend and wait until you get caught. Yikes!

Really there is no easy way to do it. Breaking up is hard to do and someone nearly always ends up gettng hurt. Try and do it as nicely as possible because, who knows, one day you might be on the receiving end!

The Love Conspiracy

Jet says love is a conspiracy by toaster manufacturers. You fall in love, get married and buy a toaster in your new house then divorce – and have to buy another toaster.

It’s true I guess that things can pop up unexpectedly when you’re in love (and toaster’s pop up) so there may be a connection after all…

Sadly, Antonia and I have broken up – for good! So as much as we might be sad for a while. We can always look forward to our next love…

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