Archie had had enough! Sitting by the river one evening contemplating his thoughts and his band of soldiers, Archie noticed that his boots had become wet and shiny as he dangled them in the water. Looking closer he saw in his boot the reflection of a huge and massive Anaconda slithering quickly towards him.
Given the element of surprise and knowing full well that being forewarned is forearmed, Archie quietly and quickly pulled his machete out of his pocket and with a graceful flick of his wrist, swung out behind him and killed the snake in an instant.
Archie was victorious and carried the head of the snake back to camp to display to all the soldiers and the natives. They were amazed and Archie went to bed late that night after a glorious celebration.
That night he had a very clear dream where a water nymph came to him and told him to always keep his boots polished so that he could see when danger was near.
Archie woke up the next morning and proclaimed the first duty of the day was for every soldier to polish his boots until he could see his own face in them.
Archie’s band of soldiers continued their trek through the forests without losing another man to a creature big or small. And when Archie returned back to England he shared his discovery with his commanding officers and the rest, as they say, is history.
Soldiers have discovered that the shine on their boots is not only invaluable in saving their skins from predators on the field of duty but is also helpful for many other things.
GI’s in World War II found that the shine on their footwear greatly enhanced the viewing pleasure of looking up their dates’ skirts!
Every good looking young man knows the thrill of being bale to admire his own reflection in his boots and this also helps to ensure that not a hair is out of place when out on drill.
Soldiers on duty at the Royal Palaces in England know how important it is to have shiny boots. Because they have to stand for hours in their huts on duty outside the palaces without being able to move at all they tend to get bored. They have learnt that a great way to pass the time is this: –
They stick magazine articles, crosswords, even books on top of their huts and read them in the reflection of their boots. When they need to turn a page they wiggle their right ear, which has string, attached to it and so turns the page.
Soldiers have different ways of preparing their boots and creating a good shine. Some men tend to scrub their boots clean with a nailbrush before adding black polish bought from a store or the army store.
Others use a mixture of ostrich wax and newspaper. They find that the black print from the paper makes the boots shine an extra special shine.
My men and I use Mrs.Vermont’s special tonic. Made of secret ingredients but approved by the Minister of Ministries and Marvels, the tonic just needs to be sprayed on for an instant and lasting shine which takes away the need to spend hours and hours polishing and getting sore elbows.
So you see that shiny boots are incredibly important and I tend to hire men not on the way that they conduct manoeuvres or salute but on the way they polish their boots...