DOROTHY’S GUIDE TO PICNICS 2

DOROTHY’S GUIDE TO PICNICS

“Ça va?” said the man but Pick just looked blankly at him.

The man laughed and this time spoke in English.

Pick and Pierre spoke for many hours. He told her of his travels from Spain and of how he felt he had fallen into paradise the day he jumped off the ferry and set foot on the golden beaches of Sunset Cove.

Pick’s stomach began to rumble. She fidgeted a bit, not wanting to leave Pierre but aware that unless she ate something soon she might well faint again and that would not do at all!

Whilst fidgeting, Pick came across a lump of bread that she must have had in her hands when she left the cottage. Pierre nodded in approval when she offered him a piece and he spread his cloak on the floor and sat beside her. Taking two plums from the ground under the tree Pierre and Pick shared their meal and thoroughly enjoyed it.

To Pick it was the best meal she had ever had and she thought aloud that she could eat like this for the rest of her life.

Pierre agreed but said that he had to carry on with his journey. Pick burst into tears and Pierre agreed to come home with her and to marry her as she had pretty eyes and could bake nice bread.

Pick and Pierre were married before long and to celebrate had a meal with the family on a rug under a tree. They called the meal pickpierre after the happy couple.

Every Sunday after the marriage the Gordon family had a pickpierre and soon all their friends started to join in the fun.

After a few months, Pierre got the wanderlust and decided he had had enough of married life and scarpered leaving Pick and the Gordon family to their own devises.

Dorothy’s Top Ten Tips for a Great Picnic

1. Always use fresh bread
2. Never boil your peas
3. Embrace the ants, they are your friends
4. Bedsheets are easier to shake off than blankets
5. Cut your sandwiches into rectangles, that confuses the seagulls
6. Only posh people use china plates, paper plates are just as good and easier to clean
7. A man can be judged by the way he carries the picnic hamper
8. Always use fresh bread (that’s really important)
9. Chicken drumsticks are really nice
10. And so are hard boiled eggs.

Pick was not as devastated as she had thought she might be as she had not liked Pierre’s garlic breath, She had only really married him because no other man had ever looked at her before (though she was old enough to realise that it was because she had never left the cottage before so it had been impossible to be noticed!)

The lads of Sunset Cove certainly noticed Pick now as she sashayed herself down the High Street and after a while she began to date a local fellow who ran a bakery and also admired her baking skills.

The happy young couple soon started up with the pickpierre’s again but when they got hitched the name had to change to include the new groom – picnic – and history was made.

Pick and Nick enjoyed a happy life together and their love of eating outdoors was passed to all residents of Sunset Cove and all around the world by the travelling Pierre.

So if you are ever in a foreign country and hear people talking of having a pickpierre, you’ll know what they mean!

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DOROTHY’S GUIDE TO PICNICS 1

DOROTHY’S GUIDE TO PICNICS

“Picnics have always been a part of the Gordon family. In fact, it was the Gordon family who invented picnics…

 

 

One hot sultry summers afternoon my Great Great Great Great Grandma Pick, blinded by the sun rays that shone in through the closed window, sat down by the fire and wondered why she was so hot.

The bread that she had just baked and sliced had toasted itself in the heat of the kitchen. The peas that she had just shelled had boiled themselves in the pool of her sweat that had trickled onto the floor.

Pick wondered if perhaps she had turned menopausal for that was the only reason she knew of that women could feel so darn hot.

Wiping a bead of sweat from her hairy upper lip, Pick wondered aloud if this infernal heat would ever die down. Maybe when the menopause was over and done with?

A swift clip to the ear rattled Pick’s brain and made her sit up straight in the chair. Her mother Dennis (my namesake) muttered in disbelief. “My girl, you’re only 17 years old! The menopause is some 40 years away. The heat you be feeling is from the fire, from the sun and from not having any windows open!”

Dennis muttered many more things too when she found the toasted bread, the boiled peas and pools of sweat all over the floor but we won’t dwell on that part of the story.

Pick went outside and reveled in the cool breeze that hit her face. She ran around and pretended to be a nun on a mountaintop. She twirled her way up the lane and stood under the shade of a willow tree. What a joy, what a wonder to be outdoors and not feel that heat anymore…BAM!

Pick fell flat on her face, overcome by heat exhaustion.

She awoke some time later and looked around her in a daze. She knew that she had been shaken awake but she didn’t see anyone near her. She pinched herself, maybe she had just been dreaming.

When she sat up though she saw that there was a young man leaning against the tree eating a plum. She knew from the look on his face that he was a nice guy and meant no harm and when he eventually spoke she could tell that he wasn’t from around these parts.

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DOROTHY’S GUIDE TO SURFING Page 2

DOROTHY’S GUIDE TO SURFING
TAKING LESSONS CONT…

Firstly you’ll just learn to paddle on your board – it’s not too hard and it’s the start of getting your balance correctly on the board. Then you’ll start to paddle with an incoming wave and you’ll feel such a rush that you’ll just want to stand up straight away – but I don’t advise it – I broke my nose on my board a few times before I got the hang of it.

When you’ve finally mastered the beginnings you’ll take your first stand on a small wave. You’ll think you’re the king of the world! Then you’ll promptly fall off and swim your way out again.

SUNSET COVE SURFERS

Surfers strolling down the streets in Sunset Cove are not necessarily surfers. Surfing is just the coolest thing in town so even if you just own a board and walk with it down the street occasionally then you’re part of the “it” crowd.

Then there’s the people who you might think are the posers but are in fact accomplished surfers. Commander Vermont is one of the best surfers in Sunset Cove! Would you believe!?

Josh is a fantastic surfer too and I’ve tried to convince Giles to take some lessons from him. Giles isn’t interested in surfing. He thinks he’s not tanned enough or something – but I think it might clear up his zits if he ever gave it a chance.

Five ways to look cool while you’re surfing

  1. Place your sunglasses on your head – not on your face

  2. Make sure you overdo your fake tan – it will keep you more protected from the sun and you’ll look like you’ve spent hours out in the sun on your board.

  3. Practice the “stance” – one arm in front of you and one arm behind you.

  4. If you’ve got it flaunt it if you haven’t cover it – bikini’s versus wetsuits.

  5. If there’s a cute guy or girl surfer near by, fall off your board and feign injury – they’ll come to your rescue if you’re lucky

SURFING MYTHS

Surfing will not put hairs on your chest – and if it does then I suggest you wax it off pronto!

Surfing will not always win you the girl/boy – but it sure can help!

Surfing in a wave pool is not cooler than surfing in the sea. Don’t listen to anyone that tells you otherwise.

Alien’s don’t surf – no matter how much they want to borrow your board – don’t let them!

 

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DOROTHY’S GUIDE TO SURFING Page 1

DOROTHY’S GUIDE TO SURFING

“Dorothy here, I’ve only been surfing since I moved to Sunset Cove but I think I’ve found my calling. There is something so invigorating and exciting about it and of course you’re always searching for that perfect wave…

 

THE EARLY BEGINNINGS

Firstly you have to at least go down to the beach and watch other people surfing. If this doesn’t put you into a dream-like state and have you dancing along the beach wanting to dive on in and steal someone’s board then perhaps you’re not really destined to be a surfer.

Next you hook up with some spunkster of a surfer and tell him how much you just want to ride a wave. If you’re lucky he’ll take you under his wing and give you a few tips.

Then it’s time to get your first lot of gear. Go to your local surf shop and find a board and there’s heaps of different shapes and sizes. I got a fish shaped board in black – pretty rare but the guy behind the counter was sure this was the board for me. But that was my first board – I’m onto my sixth now.

Don’t forget your wax, your wetsuit, your fake tan, your hairstyle, your surfy clothes and then of course you need a cool wagon to put all your gear in – unless you live in Sunset Cove and then it’s cooler if you walk down the street with it. Hey, if you’re a real surfy then you will probably spend every last penny you have on looking the part.

TAKING LESSONS

Certainly don’t expect to be a surfing legend within a week. I mean just getting your wetsuit on can be a mission in itself. Never try to put it on wet or you’ll end up stuck in the thing in a weird position and will have to embarrass yourself by asking someone to help you.

Once you’ve squeezed into that you might want to take it for a test run. Take a flying leap into the sea and hope that it helps keep you afloat, keeps you warm and the brighter it is, the better – gotta watch those sharks.

Some people choose to swim in their jeans which is pretty risky and Grampa once knitted me a wetsuit and I was unbelievably lucky to survive! The wool got sopping wet and dragged me under and the next thing I knew Silver Lining was giving me mouth to mouth on the beach. I tried it again the next week but he evaded my calls for help.

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DR LEGGS’ report on DOROTHY GORDON (Joanne Mildenhall)


DR LEGGS’ report on DOROTHY GORDON (Joanne Mildenhall)

Hello, I am Dr Leggs, the resident psychiatrist of Sunset Cove. Many interesting people come to see me about their problems (and you can sometimes see me in Atlantis High!). Each week I’m profiling different Sunset Covers – and this week is the craziest mother you could wish for – Dorothy Gordon .

Name:Dorothy Gordon
Age: 38
Status:

The eccentric mother of Giles Gordon.

Appearance:Seemingly normal on the outside she wears slightly hippy clothes. Always a neat appearance and she likes to keep her hair tied away with a hair-band.
Past History:Dorothy’s past is very mysterious. She doesn’t talk about her younger days and Grampa hasn’t been much help in telling me either. Grampa always refers to her as “Dennis” rather than Dorothy which is very odd, it makes me wonder…
Motives:There seemed no earthly reason why Dorothy decided to move to Sunset Cove. There wasnt’ some great job waiting for her there. Dorothy’s motives are unclear – she seems to be on the search for something or someone and poking around the Vermonts house is a favourite pastime.
Influences:Dorothy doesn’t have many influences. She’s a very confident woman and doesn’t like to be told what to do. The only close people in her life are Grampa and Giles both of which she likes to give advice not the other way around.
Strengths: Dorothy is very confident. She knows what she wants and she goes out and gets it. Where there’s a will there’s a way.
Weaknesses: Dorothy is natually curious and lives life on the edge. She can sometimes find herself in precarious situations because of her curious nature. Cooking is not her strong point either – her chicken broth leaves a lot to be desired.
Catchphrases: “‘schools make me nervous, you’ve got bullies, peer pressure, raging hormones – and that’s just the teachers”
Secrets:Dorothy loves surfing. She’d do almost anything to catch the perfect wave. She even practices in the bath.
Rumours:

Rumour has it that Dorothy is not what she seems. She’s been living a double life. She’s often seen wearing and shopping for men’s clothing but all the rumours don’t add up. I’m not yet sure what it all means…

CLICK HERE TO RETURN TO THE LIST OF DR LEGGS’ REPORTS AVAILABLE SO FAR…