JET’S GUIDE TO CONSPIRACIES 2

JET’S GUIDE TO CONSPIRACIES
FOOD

The local diner sometimes has these GM foods in stock. Here’s a look at their menu:

Burgers

  1. Carroteen & GM Seeweed
  2. GM Fish Fins and plucked Eyeball
  3. Fish scales and nitrateoxide
  4. Label bashing mash
  5. Slimmers Slime

Desserts

  1. Marshmarsupial pudding
  2. Chocolate Mouse
  3. Blue bottle-oxide
  4. Berry Rodent Risotto
  5. Reconstituted Smoothie

FASHION

What is fashion? Fashion is whatever you want it to be. But try telling that to the label bashers who must have the “brand” of the moment.

Fashion retailers and designers have a close relationship. This relationship revolves around sales, sales, sales.

Have you ever looked at something in a shop window and thought urgh I’d never wear that! But a few weeks later when everyone else is wearing it you can’t get yourself one fast enough? They’ve got you! That’s how they do it!

Suddenly everyone around town is looking the same. Same pink sweater, designer jeans, and designer boots.

Their marketing campaigns are well thought out and even the most disgusting clothes seem to make their way onto the shelves.

Personally I like to wear whatever I like. I don’t want the funkiest outfit of the moment. I want to make my own clothes that are “out there” “different” and something I’ve created myself. I don’t want to be told by some shop and an advert that I “need to have it”.

Last week I bought the ugliest pair of jeans you could imagine. I cut a few holes in them, sewed on some blue beads and jems and suddenly they’re something no one else has!

Remember that next time you’re out shopping – you don’t have to conform and you certainly don’t have to be part of the retailers conspiracy…

 

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JET’S GUIDE TO CONSPIRACIES 1

JET’S GUIDE TO CONSPIRACIES

“Hi, I’m Jet Marigold. I know the world is one big conspiracy. There’s so much evidence!

Here is some of what I’ve found out…

 

HOUSEHOLD ITEMS AND DIVORCE

 You may have heard me talk about this before. Household manufacturers have one of the biggest conspiracies in the world. Everyone needs household stuff and what better way to sell twice as much merchandise than to get everyone to divorce! That way the spouse who doesn’t end up with that particular item has to go and buy it again. Simple!

But how do they do it?

Couples are always arguing over the smallest things in life. “why didn’t you change the toilet roll?!” “I told you to get that last week!” “The bloody toaster is on the blink, can you fix it?”.

Manufacturers have made small adjustments to their electrical items – adjustments you’d never know about. Most of the time they work great but sometimes they just won’t work at all. This can become terribly irritating. She says it doesn’t work, he says it does – it’s an automatic argument maker!!

These household items are trouble I tell you! Live in a tent in the middle of nowhere and you might just stand a chance.

FOOD

You wouldn’t think food would have it’s downsides would you? Well let me tell you that food is just another ploy to get us all fat and crazy. The more you enjoy food, the more you’re going to eat it. The fancy labels and the “fat free” tags – yeah right! It’s the fresh food you need to look out for especially fruit and vegetables. The other day I ate an apple and all hell broke loose – I couldn’t think rationally, I went beserk! There’s funny things in natural food that reek havoc with your bodily system. It’s all those vitamins, minerals, and carbohydrates that do it.

What I’ve found out is that if you eat only Genetically Modified food then you get to control exactly what is going into your body and you’re not relying on old Mother Nature – who has no idea how to cook anyway.

One of my favourite GM foods is polycarbobarbituatenitrate- it’s fantastic! Drink it down for breakfast and you won’t need anything until you go to bed.

At bed time you need to up your oxi levels so I tend to eat a pastachemotherapay. A great way to stay thin and to keep away from that nasty fresh fruit and stuff.

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DR LEGGS’ report on JET MARIGOLD (Laura Wilson)

DR LEGGS’ report on JET MARIGOLD (Laura Wilson) 

Hello, I am Dr Leggs, the resident psychiatrist of Sunset Cove. Many interesting people come to see me about their problems (and you can sometimes see me in Atlantis High!). Each week I’m profiling different Sunset Covers – and this week is the wacky chick with blue hair – Jet Marigold.

Name:Jet Marigold
Age: 17
Status:

Eccentric student at Atlantis High – very much an individual

Appearance:Blue haired, Jet stands out from the crowd. Not just with her hair – she has a really “different” sense of fashion and loves to wear sometimes conflicting clothes – like a kilt and a blue t-shirt with a skull and cross bones! She normally wears some type of bangles or necklaces.
Past History:Jet was very secretive about this. She claims she has “normal” parents but I am not sure what aspects of her past explain her unique individuality in terms of appearance – and behaviour. Jet is not your everyday “miss usual” and she has been very coy about her past.
Motives:Discovering the truth. Jet has a great desire to uncover a myriad of conspiracy theories that she sees – practically everywhere. She has a sense of justice and wants to help others – and unmask hidden agendas or sinister motives of others…
Influences:Beanie. At first, Jet was appalled by the kid with the big ears. But as time marches on, Jet finds Beanie very attractive – because he is a “weirdo” and does things his own way – much the same way that Jet does things her own way. They are two individual peas in a pod.
Strengths: Her imagination – Jet has an amazingly vivid mind and sees things other people may not see. She also has a great stubborn streak and sense of determination – once she sets her mind on doing something, she will let nothing get in her way. With a sense of justice, she is bent on writing wrongs.
Weaknesses: Her imagination – Jet can sometimes get totally carried away by her mind and what she perceive as others’ hidden motives (when there may be nothing really there in reality for her to worry about). Her imagination can make her paranoid – when she visited me, she claimed I was part of a diary manufacturer conspiracy to force people to buy more diaries so they could record what happened at their therapy sessions… but I don’t even have a diary? Jet also has a weakness phsyically due to her allergy to fresh food – everything she eats must be processed and she consumes vast amounts of vitamins.
Catchphrases: (to Beanie ) – “Beanie. you are so weird!”, (to everybody) – “It’s really a conspiracy…””
Secrets:Jet secretly has confided in me that she is attracted to Beanie a great deal – is this just as a friend or could it turn into something romantic maybe?
Rumours:

Despite Jet’s rigorous denials, there have been rumours on the Sunset Cove grapevine that Jet’s blue hair is really dyed, although she claims it is natural. She also denies claims she is party of a conspiracy to spread conspiracy theories…

CLICK HERE TO RETURN TO THE LIST OF DR LEGGS’ REPORTS AVAILABLE SO FAR…

 

 

Christmas Interview with Michael Wesley Smith (Giles), Victoria Spence (Antonia) and Laura Wilson (Jet) Page 2

Christmas Interview with Michael Wesley Smith (Giles), Victoria Spence (Antonia) and Laura Wilson (Jet)
 

What is your favourite Christmas movie?

Victoria – Miracle on 34th Street

Michael – Miracle on 34th Street.

Laura – Nightmare before Christmas

What is your favourite Christmas song?

Victoria – God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

Michael – the Red Nosed Reindeer.

Laura – Santa Baby (Madonna)

Favourite Christmas Food?

Victoria – Fruit Mince Pies

Michael – Roast chicken

Laura – Turkey

Favourite Christmas Symbol? (for example, snowman, or christmas tree, holly, santa?)

Victoria – Christmas Tree in a gura of lights

Michael – Holly

Laura – Snowman

 

Christmas Interview with Michael Wesley Smith (Giles), Victoria Page 1

Christmas Interview with Michael Wesley Smith (Giles), Victoria Spence (Antonia) and Laura Wilson (Jet)

What does Christmas mean to you?

Victoria – Hanging out with my close family and eating lots and swimming having barbecues.

Michael – Family and big dinners.

Laura – Spending great time with friends and family, and being happy.

What do you do on Christmas Day?

Victoria – Wake up early with my sisters and open our stockings then our whole family goes to church, come back and open pressies, drinking, champagne and eating mince pies, then big lunch, chill and big dinner.

Michael – Go to church then open pressies and drink champagne and eat mince pies.

Laura – Spend a great time with friends and family, and be happy.

Best christmas gift you ever gave?

Victoria – A montage of photos I gave to my friend!

Michael – A dog

Laura – A trip to Aussie for my Dad to see my sister

Best xmas gift you ever received?

Victoria – A play cabin for my dolls when I was seven! And a trampoline

Michael – A jet ski.

Laura – A painting from my best friend Kendra

 
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