The Dairy was an instant hit with the locals. The aisles were freshly stocked with all sorts of amazing products that none of us had ever seen before. This was courtesy of Ralph and his contacts. Soon the whole of the area was full of people eating self-buttering bread and active apples (that would jump around the room to provide exercise as well as nutritional content).

There is always music playing and the breakdancers perform in aisle 7 every second Friday of the month. It can be tricky when you want to get your eggs home in one piece but other than that it’s great entertainment.

My favourite time was when Ralph built a mountain of baked bean cans that were on special and the nuns climbed to the top and sung a medley of Sound of Music tunes. What a way to spend a Thursday night!

Wednesdays are date days where anyone carrying a bunch of carrots in their basket is treated to a bottle of wine and a dinner at the Princess Diner with someone else that is carrying a bunch of bananas in their basket.

One time I had dinner with Anthony and that wasn’t so hot but one time I had dinner with Dolphin and we got on like a house on fire – well, his house was on fire which is why he came out to get groceries in the first place – he couldn’t watch TV while the curtains were burning.

But the best time was when I got to have dinner with Jet Marigold. She was a blast! She had so much monosodium glutamate that she was climbing the curtains. Mrs. Gordon wasn’t too pleased and Jet had to be dragged down but we had a good laugh all the same.

Shopping at the Damascus Dairy is my all-time favourite thing to do when I’m bored. It’s open 23 and a half hours a day and if you’re there on a Sunday you get to sing hymns and are served by Ralph as all the nuns are at church.

The nuns are thinking of expanding and opening another Dairy in Helensview down the highway but I think they should just focus on this store here. I like that we get to have it all to ourselves.

Anyway, got to get a move on, it’s sixties day at the Dairy. That means that I can eat all the donuts I can grab in sixty seconds!

See ya!
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