When I was a young lad we didn’t have television so now I make up for lost time and watch it as much as I can. There’s a lot to be learnt from watching a box.”




Top Ten Tips for watching TV

1. Always have popcorn

2. Make sure your couch is comfy

3. Try turning the sound off and watching it mute.

4. Change the language and feel like you’re in another country.

5. Take the phone off the hook and bolt your door so no one can interrupt you.

6. Have a portable tv that you can take with you to the shower.

7. Watch it upside down – it will give you a new perspective

8. Phone in to all the live shows and make a nuisance of yourself

9. Don’t let anyone tell you you watch too much tv – they’re only jealous.

10. Try and get yourself on a talk show – you might regret it but will laugh it off after a few months.

Television is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’re going to get. There’s such a variety of programs that it’s sometimes really hard to even know which one to watch! Here’s some of my favourites.

Nature watch – there’s this fascinating program that follows the lives of animals and insects around the world. My favourite episode was one on ants. It put things in perspective for me. We’re all ants in a big big world and I just sat there for hours watching them scuttle along.

Freeze TV – There’s not much to this one but it satisfies my need to sleep between programs. It’s a program that films the movement of a glacier. A glacier can sometimes only move 1 foot a year so when this program is on I force myself not to watch it and take a well earned nap. If there was no Freeze TV then it’s quite possible I would never take a break from TV. So thankyou Freeze TV.

Sunset Cove Watch – This is the greatest one yet. There are security camera’s all over Sunset Cove and this channel lets you tune in and watch them. I find people in Sunset Cove are always up to something especially because they’re so WEIRD! The other day I saw a guy walking down the street on his hands who then choked on his bubble gum and another time I saw Silver Lining and Bad Mood having a huge argument in the playground over who got the best swing.

TV Addiction

Some people say they are addicted to tv but I don’t think that’s fair. You should be able to watch as much tv as you like without being typecast with a problem. I sit in my armchair and pull my cover over me when I finish for the night – I don’t sleep in a bed because then I’d have to get up to watch tv and tv should be a relaxing enjoyable experience so why ever leave? I mean you can even do your shopping on tv!

I’ve managed to program my brain to wake me up everytime my favourite shows are on. I’ve also got the latest in plasma technology and my tv does all the thinking for me. I can program it to change channels and book shows. There’s this new tv tha’ts just come on the market that can make tv dinners, find you a mate with onscreen dating and even has a foldout bed. I’m thinking seriously about saving up the $10,000 to get one.

I really think I love tv. I don’t know what I’d do without it. It’s like a long lasting, meaningful relationship. You would never think of breaking it off or calling it quits.

Next page