GRANDPA’S GUIDE TO TELEVISION 2

GRANDPA’S GUIDE TO TELEVISION
 

Top 5 TV Shows

1. Ssssh – The Library

2. Simply Sophie

3. Survivor – Traffic Island

4. Sunset Cove Watch

5. The Apprentice Hairdresser

My Television Appearances

I have to confess that I’m a television junky and love to watch the reality shows and the talk shows.

I got myself on Simply Sophie once by telling all the news networks that Giles was an alien. I always thought there was something strange about him and then he was hanging out with that weird Octavia girl which just put the wind up me.

My 15 minutes of fame was over in less than a minute. After I’d been into make-up and they’d put far too much on I went to wardrobe where they put me in a nice Grandpa sweater which suited me fine. Then I got the call that I was to go on stage. I was so excited I nearly lost all control of my bladder – which isn’t hard at my age.

They asked me a couple of questions about Giles’ odd behaviour and his relationship with Miss Vermont and then they went to a commercial break and chucked me off the stage. It was great while it lasted and I’d set my tv at home to record it so I’ve been watching it over and over again for the past year.

I might try my luck and try and get another appearance but first I’ll have to think up something they’ll want to see me about. Maybe I could set a world record for the number of hours watching tv…

My only other appearance was when I was a feature on the news. I’d been out on my bike and it broke down in the middle of nowhere. I was then chased by a dog down the street who ripped off all my clothes so I tried to scale a power pole. I ended up hanging from the power pole, naked, caught in the wires getting electric shocks and couldn’t get down. Apparently I caused power outtages to half the city and they showed the piece on the news warning people not to climb power poles.

Anyway it’s time to get back to Nature Watch. Enjoy your television watching!

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