We are getting very homesick with all this talk of gatherings and get togethers and celebrations.

It has not been easy to see Dorsey but not to be able to get in contact with him. It all reminds us too much of all the fun we used to have on Phenorg.

We long to be able to finish our mission here on Planet Earth and return to our marshy swamplands with our dear Dorsey.

Oh, think of the gatherings we used to have!

Please remember us as you prepare to celebrate the Feast of the Garganwxen and we will remember the


  • Gatherings on Phenorg only happen for 3 events…the hatchlings of the newly hymogenised Phenorphtes, Swamp wrestling in the Marshlands of the Pittlfghywez and 1,000 year Phenorgal Institute celebrations.
  • The oldest Viqercorator at a Gathering has to say a few words in ancient Pheaenorg whilst balancing on the tip of his tail at the edge a swamp.
  • The youngest Viqercorator at a Gathering has to perform the dance of a 1,000 tails which is a traditional dance dating back to 7 P.C.
  • The traditional food that is served varies from gathering to gathering but always includes mouse burgers and ambrose of the swamp amoeba.
This Earth Woman demonstrates the spooky similarities between the way that E
arthlings eat and the way that Phenorgians eat.
  • There is music at gatherings and it is always performed by the school swamplings on instruments that are called Phenarferts. These are a cross between Earthling bagpipes and guitars.
  • Special clothes are worn at these gatherings and prizes are given to those who show off their tails to the best advantage.
  • There are dances other than the dance of a 1,000 tails which only the youngest Viqercorator can perform and most Phenorgians enjoy dancing the Tail Trot, the Mamama and the Swamp Sway.
  • There are special decorations that adorn the swamps during a gathering and these mark out the celebration area. There are green phosphorescent bugs that glow from glass vials that are hung amongst the vines, sparkly swamp glub that makes the marshland shimmer and huge lizards and reptilean statues made out of the marrow of the Moosh Marf.
  • The Phenorgians who are being honoured in the Gathering have to stand high on their tails and proclaim to always honour the six spheres of the swamp. This proclamation is followed by a huge kenang where Phenorgians of all ages get together, sway on their tails and sing the song of the Sacred Swamp.
  • The gathering ends with a bang when the naturally explosive Moosh Marfs set themselves off and soar through the twighlight sky. This phenomenon is often seen by Earthlings who say they have seen a shooting star. Piffle and Poofle. There are no shooting stars, only exploding Moosh Marfs!

This Earth Man resembles the explorers who came to Phenorg many years ago but who decided to settle on Mars

Oh we had the best times on our beautiful planet!

This method of party celebration is a little bit similar to Phenorgian gatherings. Although we were frightened as we hurtled through the event on the back of a flying creature, we enjoyed seeing the happy faces of the Earthlings as they jumped up and down and sang songs as they clutched their party bags.

We will keep you informed as to our remarkable experiences here on Earth and we hope that we will be able to make contact with Dorsey very soon.

Until we meet again in the swamps of our homeland,

Pherum Phenor Pheram.”