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THE
BIG GAME AT ATLANTIS HIGH
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THE
WORST SPORTS IN HISTORY
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Cow
throwing. Did you know
in Germany 800 years ago that Vikings
used to throw around live cows - whoever
threw the furthest was the winner.
Mooooo!
Hamburger
Competitions -.My
great grandfather Coach Shane III
had the world record for eating -
he scoffed 528 hamburgers in a little
over half an hour. What a man!
Imaginary
Frisbee.
This
is where you play frisbee but don't
use a frisbee. Yep, you gotta use
your imagination!
Growing
oak trees.
This is the slowest game - you start
with seeds and grow a tree. It takes
about 100 years to see who has the
biggest tree and is the winner.
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Well
recently  there
was a big game - we are talking B - I -
um… J - G! That's right, we're talking
BIJG!! The bigjest game in Atlantis High
was against an opposition coached by Lou
Siffer called "The Dark Side". Well, they
seemed like a nice group of people!
Atlantis
High had never ever (ever) won a football
game. I was determined to change that and
trained my troops in the Cha Cha Cha, Macerana
and Tango. With Giles Gordon as quarter-pounder,
 there
was no way we could lose!
Thanks
to a giant mutant pigeon that distracted
our opposition, we were able to pull off
an amazing win that will go down in history
books for ever!
COACH
SHANE's 10 TIPS ON PLAYING FOOTBALL
- Always
look good
- Stick
with the rhythm
- Brush
your teeth so they are sparkly clean and
shiny
- Wear
some nice shorts
- Concentrate
on the ball.
- Keep
your eye on the ball. Even better, both
eyes.
- Watch
the ball.
- Always
focus on the ball.
- Pay
close attention to where the ball is and
- Pay
close attention to what the ball is doing.
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